It's a date!!!

Thankfully my lab work and ultrasound went well this morning. My uterine lining is up to almost 10mm so everything is a go for our embryo transfer next week!!! We’ll be flying out early next Wednesday and transfer will take place the afternoon of Thursday, March 14^th. In terms of medication protocol I’m continuing with the current nightly Lupron injections and Estrace pills until Saturday at which time we’ll be adding in Doxycycline twice a day, Medrol once a day and the dreaded Progesterone injections once a day until transfer. Not going to lie, I’ve been wincing at the thought of those Progesterone injections since the big box of meds arrived. Although I do remember in the past when I had to do them that once I was into the routine it wasn’t as bad, but ugh, I do recall how much they hurt and how tender the injections sights get after repeated daily poking. After the transfer I’ll continue just the Estrace pills and the nightly Progesterone injections until the pregnancy test.

A week out I’m feeling more positive about our delay in the cycle. I know I would have wondered if it didn’t work out whether it was because we needed that additional week to plump up the uterine lining and the estradiol levels, and now I know we’ve given it our best and hopefully our little embryo will find my uterus to be a lovely hospitable home and decide to stick around for the long haul. We were disappointed that we had to change our original length of time while in the Northeast. When we called to change our flights the cost was substantially higher to leave on Sunday vs. Saturday, so unfortunately we’ll get far less time to spend with our donor family. But with the already additional cost of changing the tickets, the extra monitoring appointment today and the uncertainty of whether we’ll need to do more treatment cycles in the near future, if this one doesn’t work we just couldn’t justify the higher expense.

Also, for those of you who have experienced loss, you’ve got to check out this post by Brooke. It really resonated with me as I’ve had so many of the same feelings lately. I’ve seen and heard several people recently talk about how people make too big a deal about pregnancy and that it’s such a normal process, but for those of us who have coped with the loss of a baby it is not. Unfortunately, it is a process that is full of fear & worry, and I wish so much that I could be one of those people who didn’t know all that could go terribly wrong, who could be so nonchalant about eating, drinking and being as physically active as I’d like while pregnant. But those days are long gone for me. I know this is a tight rope act of walking between hope and fear, and although I’m ready to balance this possible pregnancy as best I can, I wish that others could understand the courage and strength it takes to carry a baby after loss. It is a constant battle between your fear of the past and your attempt to embrace this life you are carrying with joy. It is far from simple.

So off we go next week to pick up another of our donor embryos and potential newest family member. It’s exciting and anxiety provoking all in one, but I’m trying my best to focus on the positive and hold hope for what may be to come. One step at a time, as I’m sure I’ll be reminding myself of frequently in the future!