Book shout-out, support, & moving into the double digits!!!

First off I have to begin by raving about this fantastic book I’ve started reading, The Belated Baby: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility by Jill Browning & Kelly James-Enger. Although I’m just in the beginning stages of this book I cannot say enough good things about it. It truly is a must have for parents who have struggled with infertility! The forward of the book is written by Brenda Strong (the narrator on Desperate Housewives), who also happens to be the spokesperson for the American Fertility Association. I found particularly encouraging the following that she wrote, “going through infertility does make you a stronger and more decisive person. Every step of the way has prepared you to be a more grounded and grateful parent. Even so, dealing with the complexities of parenthood and your past can bring up emotional, social, and relationship hurdles. Understanding the unique situation you find yourself in and learning to adjust to the world of “normal” parents is just what this book helps you to do.” I can relate to so much of what the authors talk about in the first few chapters, so if you’re a reader & have struggled with infertility I’d definitely recommend you check out this book!

During our IVF treatment & even prior to that during our TTC journey I found the forums on babycenter.com to be helpful & comforting, especially the group for those pursuing assistive reproductive technologies. So once I became pregnant I looked forward to joining the October birth group, where other ladies who are due in the same month post questions or just talk about their experiences. But the truth of the matter is that the majority of posts on that babycenter group I just cannot relate to. I find myself even more thankful for my fellow IF bloggers with this realization; it’s nice to have a group of people who understand the struggles we’ve gone through & appreciate the feelings & experiences that go with that. The support & encouragement you all have provided on this journey have meant so much & will be something that I always cherish.

Update regarding political action interests…as some of you have noticed I’ve had a link on the right side of my blog urging you to take action regarding support of the Adoption Tax Credit, well good news for now at least regarding this legislation. The Adoption Tax Credit has been extended for one more year & the credit has been increased to $13,170! The extension was included as an amendment to the health care reform bill.

Lastly, I’m feeling super stoked to be heading into the double digits & week 10 of this pregnancy journey! Getting closer & closer to trimester#2!

Miraculous cures & dispelling myths

At times I find it humorous & at times infuriating that a majority of fertile people believe once you go through IVF treatment you’re going to magically get pregnant without assistance the next time. All you infertile ladies out there, I know you’ve heard this on more than one occasion. So this week on two separate occasions on the same day I had people that knew about our IVF treatment tell me…oh, now that you got pregnant with IVF I’m sure the next time you’re going to get pregnant on your own. UGH…there is so much ignorance in the general population regarding infertility! So then I politely explain that no, unless there is some divine intervention in play (and let’s face it, I’m not exactly the Virgin Mary), this will not occur. Ever. Why is it that so many people think IVF will miraculously “cure” us infertiles of what ails us? It seems that everyone “knows” of a friend of a friend that this magically occurred with. Well people the real story is likely a bit more intricate than it was relayed to you thus feeding this crazy myth. For every miraculous story you hear, there are hundreds of failures that you don’t. People don’t typically pass on their stories of disappointment. The majority of us who struggle with infertility do not experience this magical cure, so please think before you speak. I can tell you with certainty that this is a comment that most infertiles find extremely frustrating & disheartening.

Also a little humor to help in dispelling more infertility myths...the hilarious & witty Stirrup-Queens posted this video today...enjoy:)

My Aunt Jane Knows More Than My RE 

Joys of the first trimester...

So you know how you hear all kinds of myths & old wives tails about pregnancy and you have certain things in your mind that you then expect? Well I had always heard that migraines/severe headaches typically stop during pregnancy…I’m learning that unfortunately that is not necessarily the case. These drastic weather changes seem to be bringing them out for me thus making it very challenging to be a productive, functioning member of society, especially in the early morning hours! I asked one of my co-worker nurses about this today & she told me that in fact the opposite is true, typically if you suffer from migraines they are worse in the first trimester & then tend to get better as you progress farther into the pregnancy. While I was slightly disappointed to learn this, I’m at least thankful that I don’t have a terribly long time before I make it to that magical 2nd trimester.

The fatigue & nausea have been about the same lately. First of all I believe a large reason for my exhaustion is the fact that I have to get up to pee about five times a night!!! I’ve always had an extremely small bladder, but this is just ridiculous…I get very little deep sleep because I’m getting up so frequently. I know what you’re thinking. Oh well, at least it’s preparing you for when the baby comes, but come on I’ve got a few more months before all that needs to kick in. The nausea & vomiting thankfully seem to have limited themselves to a two hour period in the mornings, from 8-10am I feel awfully rough & want so badly to crawl back into bed, but then it subsides & I’m back to my perky productive self. I’m praying that doesn’t change as I don’t know how I’d function if I were one of those people who felt “the sickness” all day.

And lastly the newest update with the pregnancy, I broke down last week & bought a Bella Band, which if you’ve never heard of it & are pregnant is a must have! I LOVE it & have found it to be amazing! That’s right my stomach is officially no longer flat, I thought it would be much later into the pregnancy before this started to occur, but I was again mistaken. I suppose when you’re super short like me you can only expect so much, unfortunately there isn’t a lot of area for the body to grow, but out. I thankfully haven’t had to use the Bella Band for all my pants yet, just a couple, but I’m pretty sure that day isn’t too far off!

Enjoying my last single digit week of pregnancy & anticipating the double digits!

In the blink of an eye...

Today served as a heartbreaking reminder of how precarious our lives really are & how cruel life can be. It’s always surprising to me how dramatically our lives can change so quickly, in the blink of an eye the life we know can be irrevocably altered. I found out today that the first baby I cared for, a child that I babysat for a majority of my teenage years, died on Friday at the age of only 15. I am so deeply saddened for his family; they just lost his father from tragedy only two years ago & now more unbearable heartache. It seems incredibly wrong for one family to experience so much pain. And I feel saddened for all that his life should have held & the cruelty of it being cut so short.

His family has been inspiring even in the early days of their grief; they made the decision to donate his tissue & organs so that others may live. Such an act of love in the midst of unfathomable pain is the ultimate act of selflessness. Thinking of them today & praying that God surrounds them with all that they need to survive this inconceivable loss.

When tragic loss like this occurs it is always a reminder to me to hold tight to those I love & to embrace what life we’re given as none of us are offered any guarantees.

I Come Leave We...

Welcome ICLW ladies! For those of you are unfamiliar with ICLW, here is a little background…today begins the monthly commenting week where ladies in the IF blogosphere visit each other’s blogs to bring support, encouragement, & maybe even make some new friends in the process. This is all organized through the infertility blogosphere guru herself StirrUp Queens, for more info on how to get involved next month if you’ve never participated & for the list of participating bloggers see the link below…
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2010/02/icomleavwe-march-2010/

So for those ICLW bloggers who are visiting my blog for the first time…a little background. My husband & I began our TTC journey a couple of years ago. We’ve been married for 7 years this May!! Of course as most naïve & happy couples begin their TTC journey we were excited & hopeful, sure that in just a few short months we’d be expecting. Fortunately we were blissfully unaware of the difficult road that awaited us. I tried taking my temperature every morning, charting, & acupuncture as our wait became longer, but none of these things resulted in a pregnancy. Finally my OB/GYN referred us to a RE (reproductive endocrinologist) as she said there was nothing more she could do for us. It was through our RE that we were informed in August of last year that our ONLY option for having a biological child would be through IVF/ICSI. We were shocked to say the least & it took us some time to process this as well as decide how we would like to proceed. Before we found out this news we both thought IVF was something we wouldn’t ever pursue, it just seemed too invasive, not to mention incredibly expensive, but we learned that when faced with that being our only option we felt differently. I truly believe it is a situation in which you don’t know how you & your partner would react unless you were put in that specific situation. So after a lot of soul searching & talking out our feelings we decided that we would attempt one round of IVF/ICSI & if we were unsuccessful we would move forward with adoption. We began our first round of IVF in January of this year & although it was quite the emotional and physical rollercoaster ride it was so completely worth it. We feel so incredibly blessed to have gotten our first ever positive pregnancy test & are both enjoying the hope that this pregnancy has brought us. As of tomorrow I will be welcoming in my 9th week of pregnancy & am excitedly anticipating all that our future holds.

Last night was actually another milestone for us on this IVF journey…it was my LAST progesterone injection!!! That’s right no more needles (at least at home), goodbye sharps containers, expensive med’s, & injections, although necessary for a time you will not be missed in the future!

Happy commenting ladies, welcome to my blog & have a wonderful ICLW week:)

Graduation day...

So I officially made it to 8wks 2 days before puking. That’s right, this morning there was definitely no more holding it back…I suppose it was inevitable this time was going to come, but it sure does make getting up the motivation to go to work extremely difficult!

Had our farewell appointment with the RE’s office today; she said everything is looking perfect! Little Monkey is measuring right where it should be at 1.82cm, exactly on schedule! It seems baby is punctual just like Mommy :) The heartbeat was 162bpm & of course sounded just right. What a difference compared to the heartbeat picture 2 weeks ago. These pictures didn’t turn out nearly as good as what we got to see at the clinic, baby was much bigger than last time! We were able to see the head, spine, heart & little monkey arm & leg buds were actively moving throughout the ultrasound! So I realize these pictures are probably nothing more than blobs to you, but we’re excited so I’m going to be one of those people who shares their blurry, barely identifiable ultrasound pictures with you…enjoy! The first two are just the baby & the third includes the heartbeat.

                              

So farewell to our amazing RE’s office…the staff at that clinic will always have an incredibly special place in my heart, they are brilliant & have the privilege of doing some of the most remarkable & meaningful work. I can’t imagine the fulfillment giving couples that type of joy would bring, and also the heartbreak of not succeeding. So back to our regular OB we go, we’ll be going in for our initial visit with her on April 5th, on to the next stage of this fantastic rollercoaster ride! 

Thoughtful friends & touching video...

So I had the best mail waiting for me when I arrived home today from work. First a lovely thoughtful card from my friend Melissa, super sweet & totally made my day…love you! Then a surprise package from certain special blogger who has asked to remain anonymous on here…she sent me the very first baby book for our little one’s library, Goodnight Moon, fantastic choice & definitely a must have, she knows me so well! And this hilarious monster of a shirt that totally cracked me up….it says Bearfoot & Pregnant & has this cute pregnant bear holding a broom…hysterical:)

As far as pregnancy updates, I’ve been continuing to do pretty well overall…figuring out what works for me in regards to foods & what is so far at least staving off the nausea…I have learned that eggs in the morning are absolute key! Still experiencing ravenous hunger attacks at times, but at least now I’ve learned to keep snacks close by! Also for those of you who are looking for nutritious, healthy eating recommendations for pregnancy another of my fabulous friends, Tiffany, recommended the Bradley diet to me earlier this week. I was shocked to find to a certain extent I was already following parts of the recommendations on my own! Anyway it provides some great advice for snacks & various foods that provide the nutrients both you & baby need. I’m not following it perfectly, but it’s given me a lot of good information on the basics & I’ve definitely added some of the foods to my routine diet.

Lastly I saw this video while perusing other IF blogs a couple evenings ago & was so touched by it I knew I’d have to share it the next time I posted. So click on the link below & then click on Empty Arms to play the video. It is an incredibly, touching video regarding infertility, the difficulties, emotions, & feelings experienced on the IF journey. So you can’t say you haven’t been warned…be prepared with Kleenex, I’d say it’s next to impossible to watch without tears. I hope that it touches your heart as it did mine...
http://www.tearsandhope.com/

Kansas residents take political action!!!

I received a disturbing letter from Resolve (The National Infertility Association) this morning regarding a bill that has been introduced in the Kansas state Senate with the intent to require government surveillance of infertility patients. I’ve copied & pasted below the letter from Resolve with all the info. Those of you who live in Kansas please, please, please take the time to write to the Senators on the committee…if you want e-mail addresses for everyone on this committee just e-mail me & I’ll be happy to pass along all the info to you, or you can just use the Resolve template in the link provided below.

Having gone through infertility treatments & faced the difficult decision & choices involved along the way, in addition to paying thousands of dollars of my own money towards these treatments I feel the government has no right to require this information of me. It is a slippery slope & in a highly conservative state like Kansas I don’t have to remind you of how easily this information could be used against those of us seeking infertility treatment to limit our treatment options. The decisions made while undergoing infertility treatment are intensely personal & do call into question ethical dilemmas at times, but they are OUR decisions to make regardless of what we decide is best for us. We do not need bureaucratic surveillance or intervention. Please help me in opposing Senate Bill 509, it only takes a few minutes of your time & can make an immense impact on those of us seeking infertility treatments in the state of Kansas!

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association needs your urgent and immediate action on a bill introduced in the Kansas state Senate.  

The Senate Public Health and Welfare Committee plans to hold a hearing on March 11 on  Senate Bill 509 – a bill that would interfere with the medical treatment for infertility in the state of Kansas. RESOLVE and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) strongly oppose the bill.
  
RESOLVE is asking Kansans who care about privacy and access to the best care possible to let the Senate Committee members know TODAY that you oppose SB 509!

First, please send a letter to the Committee members.  To send a letter immediately, click here.  It takes less than 5 minutes to send a letter.  Please consider personalizing your letter by sharing some of your story.

Second, come to the Senate hearing on Thursday, March 11 in Topeka, KS.  If you are able to attend, please contact RESOLVE at info@resolve.org for exact details on the location and time of the Committee hearing. At the hearing, the Committee will hear testimony both for and against the bills.  The hearing is open to the public and RESOLVE encourages you to come to show your opposition to this bill.  If you are interested in testifying, please contact RESOLVE at info@resolve.org and we will help you prepare your testimony.
More on Senate Bill 109
The Bill would interfere with infertility treatment in these ways:
1. It would authorize vast, new Governmental surveillance of infertility patients, their treatment, their eggs, and their embryos.  No other disease is subjected to this kind of Governmental scrutiny.
2. The surveillance would be non-consensual – you could not opt out of having your private information (even information if you have a miscarriage) collected by the Government.
3. It would permit essentially ANYONE to gain access to the pooled information about us patients and publish it in ways that are unfair and exploitative.   
4. It would make treatment and agency costs far more expensive, and discourage doctors and donor egg and surrogacy firms from practicing in Kansas.
For more detailed analysis of the bills, visit RESOLVE’s website.  
The Bill has nothing to do with protection of infertility patients.  It has nothing to do with making care better, safer or more accessible.  It is only about this:  making medical treatment for infertility less available, less private, and more open to exploitation by those who oppose it. 
We at RESOLVE believe that our families and our future families should not be used as pawns in a political chess match.  We will not allow the treatment for our disease to be politicized.  Fertility patients deserve the same right to privacy as any other patient.  We should not be singled out as undeserving of the sanctity of the doctor-patient relationship.
Please say NO!  It is important that your Senators hear from you. Thank you for taking action today!
Sincerely,
Barbara Collura
Executive Director, RESOLVE
P.S.  Please take a few minutes a send a letter to the Senate committee today. Urge your friends and family that live in Kansas to do the same. Click here to send a letter immediately!

Sleep induced haze & hunger stricken

Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA lately, I’ve been alternating between sheer exhaustion & ravenous hunger most days as of late. I’ve been so tired I have to take a nap when I get home from work & then I’m still ready for bed by 9:30. On this most recent Friday evening I not only took a nap from 6-8pm I then was still ready to sleep again by 10pm…pathetic I know, I’m a bit lame these days!

And the hunger…talk about extreme! I feel like I’m hungry almost all the time, I’m trying my best to eat healthy snacks to relieve these hunger attacks throughout the day…I don’t want to gain a ton of weight during this pregnancy, but wow it’s exhausting being hungry all the time. One thing is for sure though this baby loves fruit, I’ve always liked fruit, but not this much & I certainly never ate it as often as the daily recommended food pyramid suggests that’s for sure. Now though I LOVE fruit, I cannot get enough, I’m most certainly getting my daily allotment. I had the most amazing tasting strawberries yesterday…I’m pretty sure they’ve never tasted that good before! And oranges I haven’t really cared for them in years, now I have to have at least one a day…love them!  I suppose if I’m going to have some crazy cravings this is the best case scenario, right?!

I went back to that bookstore yesterday, the one I had mentioned in an earlier post; at that time it was a sad reminder of what I didn’t have & may never get to experience. Yesterday though I stood confidently in front of that book shelf on pregnancy, childbirth, & parenthood & damn it felt good! I still felt some lingering doubt & sadness for all that we’ve had to go through to achieve this pregnancy & for all the amazing women I know who are still trying so hard to get to this point, but for the first time I felt like I could look through these books without feeling like a fraud & could finally buy one for myself. It was something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time & it was such a joyful moment for me. I also happily allowed myself to peruse the children’s books for a little while. I love to read if you all hadn’t guessed that yet & it’s very important to me to pass that love of reading on to my children. I know reading is something that will help children to succeed throughout their lives & is something that can bring such enjoyment. Every Christmas I look forward to choosing a book for each of my nieces & nephews that will hopefully grow that love in them & help them to not only succeed in life, but develop their skills. Yes, I am that nerdy aunt…maybe I missed my calling as a librarian? Carefully choosing these books is something I’ve always looked forward to doing for my own children, I can’t wait to pick out that first children’s book!

So thankfully I’m still blissfully enjoying this whole pregnancy gig & look forward to all that lies ahead!

Ultrasound results are in…heartbeat confirmed!!!

We had our first ultrasound today & heard one perfect heartbeat!!! The doctor said the baby is measuring at 0.47cm which is right where it should be. He said that the second embryo did implant, but for whatever reason no baby developed. He felt everything looked very healthy right now & said he wants to see me back one last time in 2 weeks for another ultrasound before he refers me back to my OB/GYN. I’m continuing on the progesterone injections for another couple of weeks, small price to pay to ensure everything is okay. We were correct with our estimated due date, it is October 25th!

Here is a picture of the baby in my uterus (click to enlarge).  The large dark blob is the gestational sac, and the baby is measured between the dots in the picture below.

The baby’s heartbeat rhythm in the lower part of the picture… 

The best news besides the heartbeat that the doctor gave us…we asked what our chances of carrying the baby to term at this point were; he replied 97%!!! How we’re feeling right now…just about perfect, although I am feeling the need for a nap right about now :)