We stopped by the bookstore today, which is a place that I absolutely love, probably more than any other store. I love to read & find joy in just looking around the store at various books. Today was a bit different though; I couldn’t help myself. I went to a part of the store I shouldn’t go, it was just too tempting. The baby/pregnancy section. I longingly scanned the pregnancy, birth, & baby name books wondering will these ever be books I’ll be fortunate enough to need. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it, but a couple of years ago when we had first decided to start TTC & I made the leap to go off BCPs I had eagerly rushed off to a local bookstore & purchased a book on pregnancy. I was so naïve & hopeful, sure that I would be pregnant soon; I was sadly mistaken. I thought back to that day while looking at the bookshelf in the store & I just wanted to cry. First because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look through those books with joy at the prospect of my own pregnancy & secondly for that naïve girl who didn’t know the painful road that awaited her.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Bookstore Maladies...
Reading is something that I not only take great pleasure in, but is also a coping mechanism for me. I’m an advocate of the belief that knowledge is power, so often when confronted with challenges in life I expand my understanding & awareness by reading about the issue at hand.
We stopped by the bookstore today, which is a place that I absolutely love, probably more than any other store. I love to read & find joy in just looking around the store at various books. Today was a bit different though; I couldn’t help myself. I went to a part of the store I shouldn’t go, it was just too tempting. The baby/pregnancy section. I longingly scanned the pregnancy, birth, & baby name books wondering will these ever be books I’ll be fortunate enough to need. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it, but a couple of years ago when we had first decided to start TTC & I made the leap to go off BCPs I had eagerly rushed off to a local bookstore & purchased a book on pregnancy. I was so naïve & hopeful, sure that I would be pregnant soon; I was sadly mistaken. I thought back to that day while looking at the bookshelf in the store & I just wanted to cry. First because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look through those books with joy at the prospect of my own pregnancy & secondly for that naïve girl who didn’t know the painful road that awaited her.
We stopped by the bookstore today, which is a place that I absolutely love, probably more than any other store. I love to read & find joy in just looking around the store at various books. Today was a bit different though; I couldn’t help myself. I went to a part of the store I shouldn’t go, it was just too tempting. The baby/pregnancy section. I longingly scanned the pregnancy, birth, & baby name books wondering will these ever be books I’ll be fortunate enough to need. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it, but a couple of years ago when we had first decided to start TTC & I made the leap to go off BCPs I had eagerly rushed off to a local bookstore & purchased a book on pregnancy. I was so naïve & hopeful, sure that I would be pregnant soon; I was sadly mistaken. I thought back to that day while looking at the bookshelf in the store & I just wanted to cry. First because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look through those books with joy at the prospect of my own pregnancy & secondly for that naïve girl who didn’t know the painful road that awaited her.
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7 comments:
I know the feeling. I think you'll be reading those books very very soon.
Hang in there. Thanks for stopping by today. I appreciated what you had to say.
I know exactly what you are saying. I did the exact same thing-the book is still sitting on my shelf, un-read. It's just like the baby clothes section at the store, there is the same magnet there and even though I know it will upset me, I still walk through! Hang in there, hope you were able to find a good book to get lost in (I love to read too!)!
Your post made me a bit weepy. Yes, I think so many of us were that girl. You just can't predict something like IF. It blindsides you completely. But I hope that very soon you'll walk into that section of a bookshop and plonk your purchases down, knowing that you can read them in a straightforward and joyful way. All fingers crossed that you are on your way to that moment right now!
Right there with ya'. I have a pregnancy book stashed somewhere in my house and I'll never use it. Here's hoping you get to!
hey Rebecca,
I nominated you for a Beautiful Blogger award. Check out my blog for details!!!
Continually holding you in my prayers and thinking of the day when you can read those books! Oh what a great day that will be!!!!
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