I’m happy to introduce you all to a new blog that was started by Kristin of Dear Stevie. Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope is a blog that she just started to help put a face to pregnancy and infant loss while also helping women who are facing these struggles to know they are not alone. Please head over, check it out, and help get the word out about this amazing new resource!
Also wanted to mention an excellent article that another blogger led me to earlier this week; it is an article featured in Self magazine on infertility.
I personally think it’s terribly sad that so many people are “in the closet” about their infertility. As mentioned in the article, how can we ask for changes to occur in our society if we ourselves aren’t willing to be open about our struggles? I always feel thankful when more exposure is given to infertility in the media. If more of us were open about our journeys, then maybe infertility wouldn’t be so isolating, and those in the fertile world would be more understanding. I know personally that when sharing my story with friends and family I have received nothing but love and the desire to understand our struggles. I know this is not the case for everyone, but I’m also the type that feels strongly about where I stand on infertility issues and if someone doesn’t like it well that’s their right. I also know without a doubt that unless you’ve actually experienced infertility yourself and been through what we have, it’s impossible for you to know how you would really react given similar circumstances.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
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7 comments:
I am really open about my infertility to everyone and their mother, despite their discomfort. I don't know why it has to be such a big hidden thing....we talk about being pregnant, why not about trying to be pregnant??? I am with you on this one, hon. Time to be advocates for change.
I think the problem with sharing is that it opens you up to the obnoxious comments that are well meaning but crappy. "At least you can have fun trying next month" after a fertility meds BFN. or "Maybe you are trying to hard." And on it goes. That's the problem with some of the insensitive loss comments too...people want to try to "fix it" or at least make it seem a little better, and these are things where you don't want suggestions and it isn't going to be fixed by some random suggestion.
Thanks for sharing the article. I have found that I am not embarrassed talking about my infertility and that most people are happy to learn what IVF entales. I have also found that through several discussions, many more people are going through the same types of struggles. People I never even imagined. Thank you for sharing. Thinking of you and your husband :)
what a wonderful blog Kristen started. I think that is a great idea. i agree with angie's comment about people's insensitive comments, but at some point we need to get past all of that. the only people will learn how insensitive they are is if we tell them.
I've faced the same rude remarks regarding my infertility. People would tell me to stop thinking about it, it wasn't meant to be, etc. After I lost my daughter @ 5 1/2 months I wanted to talk about it. Anyone who was willing to listen would get an ear full. It made some people very uncomfortable (especially if I showed emotion while talking about her) but Ive also had so many people tell me about their losses, their mother's losses or introduce me to people they know who have lost a baby. Im glad I was never willing to suffer in silence.
thank you so much for sharing this article. shady grove fertility, mentioned in the article, is where i go. when we were going through our IUI's, i didn't tell very many people. i was constantly telling my boss i'd be a little late to work (the closest shady grove office is an hour from home, and they don't do monitoring appointments early enough in the morning for me to have my appt and get back to my hometown to get to work on time), and was dreading the day i'd be confronted about it. thankfully that day never came, but i know my boss was getting a little irritated.
now that the whole school knows i was pregnant and lost my baby, when i go back to those almost daily appts this fall, i think everyone will know why. but i also worry about those insensitive comments many of you have mentioned here.
"There's a fear that life will be eternally empty." that's exactly how i felt about infertility in the first place. now that we had to lose our first child - and in such a heartbreaking way - i realize i had no idea how empty i'd feel.
Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope is such an amazing blog- thank you for letting everyone know about this. It really helps to be able to tell your story and to be able to "vent" a little.
Thinking of you.
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