October ICLW and updates…

To those of you stopping by for ICLW, welcome! And those of you who are wondering “what the heck is ICLW,” here is a quick run down. ICLW stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation, and comments should be honored and encouraged. So by all means join the conversation!

A quick synopsis of our journey to this point…my husband & I discovered at the end of last year IVF was our only chance at conceiving a biological child, so in January of this past year we underwent our first round of treatment. We were incredibly lucky to get our first ever BFP with that first round of treatment. We enjoyed a blessedly uneventful pregnancy until 23wks into my pregnancy when, sadly, I went into preterm labor as a result of an asymptomatic infection. Our beautiful daughter Lillian Grace was born and passed from this world shortly after. After a lot of soul searching regarding our options (along with some pretty random divine intervention), we are now in the process of pursuing an open embryo adoption with the most incredible donor family. It’s been a pretty crazy year to say the least! This coming Monday, the 25th, also marks Lily’s due date, a day as you can imagine that will be filled with emotion; more to follow on that later.

Thankfully checked off some more of the checklist leading up to our embryo adoption FET in December this morning. My RE completed the mock transfer, a transvaginal ultrasound, and one last required sonohystogram this morning, plus the required blood work! Everything went smoothly and there was only one small concern in that she noticed a follicle/cyst measuring about 16mm on one of my ovaries. She felt this was nothing to be concerned about in regards to affecting our FET, but said the donor family’s clinic may decide they’d like another ultrasound to ensure we’re a go for transfer closer to the time. And since donor clinic is running the show we’ll wait to see what they would like once they review the results from today. Getting closer and closer to this all being a reality very soon! We’ve also completed our adoption home study and the contract with the attorney, so really at this point just a matter of whether another ultrasound will be needed and then we’ll start the drug protocol once we’re closer to our tentative FET of December 2nd!

A mixture of emotions fill us as we move closer to the FET; on one hand I’m so excited to be hopefully pregnant again soon, and on the other hand being pregnant again is terrifying for obvious reasons. These are a couple of quotes that I’ve taken comfort in and that have renewed my hope, and honestly after everything we’ve experienced in this past year I’m more confident than ever that we can handle whatever comes our way. Hope they bring a little encouragement and hope your way as well!

“To grow, to be reborn, one must remain vulnerable--open to love but also hideously open to the possibility of more suffering.” ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  ~Anais Nin

Lastly, please show some love to my very dear real life friend Tiffany who I mentioned in my last couple blog posts. She & her husband got the news today that their son’s death is being ruled a result of SIDS. This has been an unimaginably difficult week for them, and although knowing the truth is good, it is also difficult to hear and adds to the finality of all that has happened to forever alter their lives.