For good...

It appears as if we’re still on track for our December 2nd FET. I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work on Wednesday and things are as they should be. I am continuing with the nightly Lupron injections and as of Friday started taking the Estrace pills. I’ll have my next ultrasound and blood work on November 24th… hard to believe it’s really less than a month away now! For those of you who know us in real life and are a fb friend I ask that you please not mention anything about this on fb. If we are blessed with a BFP with this first round of treatment I want to wait a bit before sharing the news with everyone in fb land.

I’ve been feeling a bit of an emotional wreck at times this week; the infertility medications are doing their thing and causing me to feel out of sorts at times. I’m thankfully feeling a bit more myself today and hoping that holds.

Grief is so all consuming at times that I forget that others have been and continue to grieve with us for Lily. Although we lost a daughter, they too lost. They lost a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. And just as we are grieving in our own way they too are processing the grief of losing Lily. My father in law surprised us (in a good way) when he sent us a picture of the memorial tattoo he got in honor of Lily last weekend. Totally shocking! My nieces and nephews sent us pictures they had drawn and crafts they had made of butterflies in memory of Lily. My mother, mother in law, and I are all using our individual talents to create keepsakes for families experiencing similar losses. Our physical way of giving back, of loving Lily, and of honoring her by providing a small comfort and piece of love to grieving families.

My first knitting project ~ a blanket for my local infant bereavement team

I absolutely love musicals, and when listening to some music from Wicked the other day I thought about how much meaning the song “For Good” holds…specifically the lyrics “I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn, and we are lead to those who help us most to grow”.

This song reminded me of so many of you who have touched our lives this past year. The fellow IF & BLM bloggers who have walked with us over all that has occurred this past year. Our families and close friends who have stood with us in our joy and our sorrow. And our donor family who were led to us in an unexpected way that has most definitely changed all of our lives forever. I’m so thankful that each of you have come into our lives and for the support and love you have given. And Lily, even though we’ll never meet again in this lifetime, as the song says so much of me is made from what I’ve learned from you; because I knew you, I have been changed for good.